Confession

Healing of The Heart

Phillips Craig and Dean

Mercy Came Running

Those who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

Confession brings great healing to us and to others. It is a blessing to the one confessing and the one hearing. It births freedom…chains are broken, masks ripped off.

When I was a young chiropractor and very far away from God, I was starting my practice with barely a dollar to my name. One day, I stole money from my brother-in-law “Steve.” After moving from LA back to my hometown in Idaho, he became a patient of mine. Steve had been treated previously by a local chiropractor, and on one particular workday that will forever burn in my memory, Steve came in for treatment and I mentioned that I could drop by his previous chiropractor’s office and pick up his X-rays for him. “Great,” he said, “since you are going there and I need to make a payment, could you take this $40 and pay my bill for me? It would save me a trip, thank you.” “Sure, no problem,” I proclaimed. Later that day, I reasoned to myself, “I’m broke, there’s $40 cash in my pocket, Steve will think I forgot to pay the bill, so don’t pay it and take the money. Take the chance! If he asks about it later, just say you forgot and go pay the bill, but if he doesn’t, then you just got some 'free money' baby!"

Sounded good to me, so I kept the money and never paid his bill.

Now, I am a grown woman and should have known better, but without Jesus, I am stupid. Rationalizing, deceiving, my feet rushing into evil, lying, stealing…that spirit of rebellion knows no boundaries. So not only was I a thief, but a liar…a deceitful person. As a child and teenager, I stole money regularly from my mother’s purse. A single, poor, hardworking mom who could barely put food on the table – yes, that woman I stole from. So, stealing from my brother-in-law brought out who I really was…a thief. A thief will always be a thief in one form or another, unless the heart has fully repented of sin to Christ. For He is the one whom I first and foremost sinned against.

A child who robs their father or mother and says, “it is not wrong,” is a partner to one (the devil) who destroys. Proverbs 28:24

I kept the money, no remorse, Steve never said anything nor was I ever confronted until my soul was redeemed six years later. After coming back to Christ, the sin of what I had done shamed me. I could never make things right, I will never admit what I did, it will be humiliating, shameful, they will reject me, turn their back, look down on me. I will just repent to the Lord and keep it quiet. No need to tell Steve and my sister and tarnish their opinion of me. There is NO WAY I am confessing to them that I stole $40…nope, never. I’ll just shove it way back in the shadows of my mind and not think about it.

So, seven years after returning to God, I went through recovery and guess what memory came out of the shadows screaming to be dealt with? The Holy Spirit had changed my heart. My sin had been silent within me for thirteen years, a burden on my back, a heart full of shame of what I had done. I was so ready to get rid of it all, that I didn’t care what anybody thought about me. I was sick of carrying this thing…get it off me.

I went to my sister and her husband’s house with money in my pocket, hands trembling, yet with a heart of peace…this has to be done. The Lord said, “Your heart will not be at rest until you confess your sin.”

Trembling, I confessed my sin, took ownership of my wrongdoing and told them in detail what I had done and what I had stolen from Mom. I was a thief. Please forgive me for stealing from you and here is the money I took. At the time, I did not know that it should have been sevenfold.

It changed me and it changed them. Their response was shocking and not at all what the Accuser told me in my head. My transparency and confession impacted them so greatly that they themselves began going to recovery. And in turn, their recovery impacted their own family.

Their reaction changed my life. I was never the same after that. Jesus met me with love, mercy and forgiveness when I repented of this sin, and as I confessed and asked for forgiveness they gave me love, mercy and forgiveness.

When one person confesses, it is like a snowball gaining momentum. That one confession can change generations. But the opposite is true, a hidden sin can negatively affect generation after generation.

It can either be transparency upon transparency or shame upon shame, secret upon secret. The health and healing of our families and generations begins with us right here, right now.

The lie is, we are safer when the sin is hidden, but the truth is…we are met with love, mercy, freedom and forgiveness as a result of our confession.

Remember, Proverbs 28:13 says, he who confesses his sin and turns, finds love and mercy.

We confess our sins to Christ, because our sins were first and foremost against Him and Him alone and then we confess to man.

Confession is transparency. It is telling others, this is who I am, this is what I have done, this is what is in my heart. Please forgive me. I know who has washed my sins away – cleaned by the Blood of the Lamb and I'm letting you see the real me with no mask. This is the yuck in my heart. That is transparency – what you see IS what you get.

Confession is so powerful and healing, because once the sin has been repented to Christ and confessed to others…what can Satan hold over you, what can man hold over your head.

Nothing! You're free! No one can stand as your accuser, because you first confessed to Christ and then to man. That's power!

Confession keeps our hearts humble before God and man, so that our hearts do not deceive us and eventually others. A man who is transparent, humbles himself before God and his fellow man. He is trusted more than one who hides behind a mask of deception.

TURN

Proverbs 28:13 also points out that to find love and mercy we must TURN from the sin. So, confession AND turning are key. We can confess our sins many times, but if we keep going back to the sin, then we won’t receive love and mercy, because we then are a fake…a liar. Confession (speech) comes from the mouth and turning (action) comes from the hands and feet and heart. They both have to match. If they don’t…then that confession is not built on the Righteous Blood of Jesus. Because if the only thing moving is our mouths, then our words are untrustworthy. Only Jesus through His righteousness makes us trustworthy.

TAKE HEED

Confession is NOT confessing our emotions. It is confessing our sin…period. It is not telling another what they did wrong or how they made us feel which made us sin against them. It is not mentioning THEIR sin at all. For example...”I confess I have had unforgiveness in my heart towards you, because you gossiped about me.” Sorry, no good. There are times when confession is inappropriate or harmful and may hurt others or another individual. Confession requires a lot of prayer, wisdom and the Shepherd’s voice to discern if it is appropriate to confess to another our wrongdoing, the timing of confession and to WHOM. And sometimes, it is better left unsaid.

Years ago, in my eagerness to be transparent, I made a huge mistake in confessing a wrongdoing that broke up a friendship and hurt some individuals. I did not pray about it nor wait to hear from the Holy Spirit if it was appropriate to confess. It was a VERY painful situation and the fallout was misunderstandings, anger, confusion and distrust. Our friendship was never the same.

The Holy Spirit must lead the confession in order for it to produce healing in us and others.

CONFESSION SHATTERS DECEIT

The Accuser can no longer accuse and the lies can no longer stay hidden, because confession brings all things into the light. It shatters that which tries to remain hidden. Who then can hold anything against us when we have confessed who and what we have done. Deceit is bondage, but confession is freedom.

FEAR IN CONFESSION

There can be fear in confession. Fear of what are they going to think of me, are they going to judge me, be angry, make me feel guilty, or reject. And sometimes we don't want to confess, because living with our transgression is easier and less painful than people seeing the real me or facing the risk of rejection. But take heart, Jesus is with us and He will go before and NOT put us to shame. He delights in our obedience of taking ownership of our actions, making things right with others. He will cover us with His mighty hand as we confess the wrongdoings. Be strong and very courageous! Fear not man, but God.

Those who trust in me will never be put to shame.

Isaiah 49:23

CONFESSING TO OUR CHILDREN

I am so amazed…there is nothing that brings greater healing to families than we as parents confessing to our children of our own sin…past, present and future.

If we have wronged our children, been angry, said hurtful words or acted in a way that was inappropriate, then repentance to Jesus and confession of the wrongdoing to our children is of the utmost importance. We want our children to take responsibility for their sins, their actions, but WE must go first, WE must lead by example. Showing them what repenting to God and confessing to others looks like. Don’t ask it of them if you’re not willing.

Confession teaches the children by example how to own their part. “I see Dad and Mom owning their mistakes and confessing their wrongdoing and asking for forgiveness.” That my friend is family healing. It has to start with the parents. You want your child to confess their sins…well, you go first.

Waves of healing will come forth and walls will break down as never seen before - in us and in them. Our children deserve to see us as parents with transparent hearts, especially, if we are asking this of them. Don't be afraid to tell them what you have done wrong and ask them to forgive you. Children are merciful and long to see the realness in their parents. We make our children accountable when they make mistakes, but who are we, as parents, accountable to? To right our mistake…we are accountable to them and to God. If I am asking transparency from my family, then I must show it first…otherwise, I am a hypocrite in the eyes of my spouse and my children. If I am asking you to not be angry, then I must first confess to you when I am angry, and ask for your forgiveness. If I ask my children not to lie, then when I fail to be honest, I must first repent and then confess my deceit to my family. When we take responsibility for our actions, so will they.

It is a lie from the enemy that if our kids know what we did, then it will give them permission to do it as well. That fear comes, because guilt still remains in our heart for what we did and should be dealt with before Jesus…BEFORE we confess our past to our children. Godly sorrow (see below) leads us to repentance, life, no guilt, no shame and wisdom. So, when we are finally ready to be transparent with them of the mistakes and poor decisions we made and share with them the wisdom we gained, then we will find love and mercy. It is not a preaching to them so they will learn, it is a confession of what YOU did before the throne of Christ. Big difference!

So you see, that spirit of rebellion wants to put fear in us as parents that it will be passed on to our children. But take hope in Christ, you first shed that spirit of rebellion through godly repentance and confession and that fear will leave.

Verses to Speak Over Our Children.

When my children were in junior high and high school, the Holy Spirit led me to the appropriate time I was to tell my children the things I had done in my past. They were merciful, forgiving and very gracious, and led to some very wisdom-filled discussions. I believe Satan wants us to believe the lie that it will lead them to sin, when in fact, it is the opposite when true repentance leads to the confession. It leads them to see their parents humble, meek and forgiven by the love of Jesus. We ALL sin and make mistakes, but it is what we do with it that matters. Our children need to know during those teen/adult years, that we the parents are sinners saved by grace.

GODLY SORROW

Let’s repeat this subject again of godly sorrow in light of confession.

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

As stated before, there cannot be true confession without repentance to Christ first. Otherwise, it is just fake confession in order to make ourselves feel better or appease the situation. And in the end, there is no real heart change. Repentance is the key that unlocks transparency. It is godly sorrow.

If guilt is present for past sins committed, then godly sorrow is absent and what we possess is worldly sorrow. Godly sorrow comes from knowing that our sin was first committed against Christ – that brings true sorrow, repentance, forgiveness, life and no guilt remains. I am sorry Jesus that I sinned against you. Worldly sorrow says I am sorry, because I got caught or sad, because of the consequences. This creates guilt, shame and death.

To KNOW in the heart that we are free from the guilt of sin because of Jesus’ forgiveness, causes us to be transparent and free before man. This is what leads us to confession to others and to our family.

Guilt and shame bind our confession, but praise Jesus, godly sorrow cuts the cords.

THE PRAISE OF CONFESSION

Almighty and loving God, you hold our confession like a precious stone. You bring it close to your Heart, highly treasured, greatly valued, placed securely in your Hand.

To lay my heart before You, sweet God, is to also lay it before men. By your Great Power and through your Great Name is my mouth opened and my heart laid bare. Opened to speak so that others may see what lies in the deep.

And through my confession, you take my shame and wash it away as though it never were. Swept away, never to rise again.

Our confession to you and the gift it is to fellow man is like snow and makes all things beautiful.

Oh God, you will not despise, you will not reject, for precious in your sight is the teachable heart of man.