Children

Healing of The Family

Kari Jobe & Cody Carnes – The Blessing

If we raise and love our children in the wisdom of the LORD, they will be a joy. It is never too late. Cry out for it, because it is the key.

RESPONSIBLE TO AND FOR OUR CHILDREN

As parents WE are responsible to God for the heart of that child until they are an adult. It is nobody else’s job, but ours – no teacher, pastor, day care worker, friend or grandparent, not even a community. If you birthed it, you’re responsible. God gave children to parents, so PARENTS are held accountable before God for the condition of their children’s heart.

We as parents are responsible FOR our children before adulthood and we are responsible TO them at any age.

What this means is…. parents are responsible FOR the well-being of that child until the age of 18: safety, security, happiness, feeding, clothing, health, behavior, discipline, teaching and wisdom. After age 18, children are responsible for themselves and to God.

But parents are responsible TO their children to give them a pure, clean, wise, humble, teachable, repentful, forgiving, slow to anger, non critical, self-control and loving heart.

If parents do not take responsibility FOR their children, then parents will be responsible FOR their children when they are adults and will have to answer to God. And if parents refuse to be responsible TO their children then parents will also be held responsible TO God.

THEIR HEARTS JUST LIKE OURS

The condition of OUR hearts is very very important to our children. It is like a waterfall. What’s in our heart will be in their heart. That’s why we are held accountable. If we are angry, they will be angry, if we are critical they will be critical, if we are deceitful, they will be liars, if we have embraced whoredom, so will they.

If we neglect their needs as children, then as adults they will neglect the needs of others.

They mirror us, so what is deep in our hearts they see and become. Plus, the curses of sin that we pass down to our children are hell bent on destroying us AND them.

PARENTS NEED RULES

We typically do not hold ourselves accountable for the condition of our own hearts before our children. We expect them to be respectful, to share, be kind, obey, love and not be angry, but we as parents act and say whatever we want, but God will hold us accountable.

Why do we expect good behavior from our children and not ourselves? Why do we discipline their hearts and not our own? That’s called a hypocrite! That’s how we loose respect.

We have adopted this foolish belief of, “Hey kids you gotta follow the rules, but we adults can behave however we want.” Parents need MORE rules than the kids. We are the adults and should know better. This “raisin children thing” is not a free pass for parents to behave as they wish. We ask our children to have self control, but do we? We expect good hearts from them, but how about ours? We will reap what we sow.

These Rules For Parents apply at any age and for relatives as well.

RULES FOR PARENTS

1. Own your crap (SIN)

Take responsibility for your actions and stop blaming or making excuses.

If we don’t own our crap, then our kids won’t either. If we don’t take responsibility for our actions and the harm we have done, neither will they. Parents first!!

2. Repent to God and be transparent before your children. Confess your sin to God and man…and your children.

Don’t be fooled in believing that if our children knew what we did it will make them want to do the same. That is called hiding things from our kids – deceitfulness of who we really are – a mask. However, repenting to God is the key. If we do not repent of our sin, then those curses will not leave and they will pass to our children. Timing, prayer and appropriate age is critical when we confess our sin and hearts to our kids.

3. Stop making excuses.

Excuses are lies we tell ourselves and others. We are a liar and they will be one too.

4. If we want transparency from them then we must be transparent first.

If children are struggling with lies and deceitfulness, then we as parents should check our own lives for any lies and deceit. More likely they learned it from us. Curses passes down to our kids.

Don’t be transparent for ANY gain or selfish motive.

5. Cry out for God’s wisdom for parenting, for your heart and the heart of your children.

6. DO NOT BE CRITICAL of them in your hearts or in our words...period…or they will be critical and hateful of you.

Do not say critical things of them to their face and to others. It tears down their hearts and their character and makes them discouraged and angry.

7. DO NOT GOSSIP about your children.

8. DO NOT SACRIFICE your child’s heart or character for knowledge or sports. Teach them the value of wisdom rather than knowledge or achievement.

What value is self-accomplishment if one possesses a foolish heart?

We are pushing so much knowledge on our kids, shoving it down their throats. We are sacrificing wisdom for knowledge and self-achievement, believing it will make them good people. Don’t be fooled. Proverbs says, WISDOM is supreme, not man's knowledge. When we stand before the throne of God, which one do we think He will ask? “How much time did you spend teaching My children wisdom and how much time did they spend learning the world’s knowledge?

9. We must learn God's wisdom first. And it begins with our own hearts before Christ.

If we want them to be holy and wise, then we must be holy and wise first before Jesus.

10. Do not discipline your children in anger.

They will grow up to resent and disrespect their parents and rebel against authority. They themselves will grow up to be angry just like us.

11. Do not be angry or speak to them with harsh words or tone.

We will reap what we sow. They will be just like us.

12. We should not allow ourselves to touch or speak to our kids if we are angry.

Go to - Disciplining Ourselves Before Disciplining Our Children

13. It is wise to ask for their forgiveness when we have made mistakes or wronged them in anyway. This teaches them how to take responsibility for their actions.

14. They long to see us make things right when we have been wrong or demonstrated bad behavior.

This shows them that we as parents are not perfect and we don’t expect them to be either, but we own our mistakes and make things right before God and others. They learn that they may suffer consequences but will receive mercy.

This also teaches them the healing power of owning their actions and making things right with those they have hurt by apologizing, asking for forgiveness and the confession of our sins

15. Stop saying “sorry.” Make your feet match your mouth.

If we don’t, then we are lying to ourselves and others. And they will grow up to be liars too.

If we were REALLY sorry, we would stop doing it.

If our lips our moving then we are lying to ourselves and to our families. If we are going to apologize, then our actions should match our mouth and we cease from bad behavior.

16. Follow through with your words. Our yes is yes and our no is no.

Again if we fail to do this then we are lying to ourselves and others; unable to follow through. And our word cannot be trusted. They will learn to do the same.

17. Complaining must be purged from us BEFORE it can be purged from them.

How can we ask them not to complain when we do the same. Plus, complaining plants the seeds of rebellion.

Grumbling is infectious.

18. Listen to their hearts and they will listen to us.

Take time to understand them and do not be hasty or harsh. They are children learning in the throes of life. They did not come out of the womb with understanding. It is our job to teach them with patients, gentleness, and quietness.

19. Take lots of time to really listen to them, especially teenagers.

Look them in the eye and listen. Put stuff down and be present. This means more to kids than anything we could do for them. And for the little ones, HEAR what they are trying to communicate rather than being quick to respond with impatience or hurriedness.

20. Give them undivided attention - quality AND quantity time.

21. If children are fighting or arguing with each other – check their basic needs FIRST.

Are they hungry, needing good food, are they tired, or in need of quality parent attention and love?

This can, also, be a heart issue and must be gently addressed rather than with yelling words.

Lastly, if they see us fighting and arguing then they will too.

22. They typically will lash out at each other if they are needing either love, attention (from us), sleep or food.

Go through this checklist to understand why they are behaving in such a way. Then discipline if need be.

23. If they are naughty, first check what am I doing, second check their needs, and third discipline if needed.

24. Ask the child, “ What is your part in this conflict?”

No more blaming or accusing.

Gather the children involved and have them verbally take responsibility for their own heart and actions by naming their sin in the conflict and have them apologize/ask forgiveness to the other children - no matter who is at fault. Help them identify their sin, their part.

Each child has a part in the conflict, and this is what they must own. Blaming and accusing will create more conflict and division.

25. Respectful parents equals respectful children.

In all things, we will reap what we sow.

26. Wives have we disrespected, dishonored or torn down the character of our husband or ex-husband?

We are teaching our girls how

to disrespect boys, men and

their husbands.

27. Dads have we been harsh, unloving or abusive to our wife or ex-wife?

We are then failing to teach our boys how to love and cherish girls, women and their wives. Treat them as a gentleman.

28. Spouses are we tearing down the character or being critical of each other to the children?

29. Are we showing respect for the in-laws?

30. Do we have respect for ourselves?

PURIFY OUR HEARTS BEFORE PURIFYING THEIRS

Children are the mirrors of our souls.

They feel what we feel.

They see what we can’t see.

They become what we have become.

We can pass down curses to them or purity of heart. We have a choice everyday.

Through the wisdom and power of Jesus, may we choose purity of HEART. Hearts we want our children to possess, but we must show them the way. Our pure hearts paving the way for their pure hearts.

So, if there is a sin in the child’s heart regardless of age, first ask God, “Is this same sin in me?” Otherwise we can’t come down hard on them, because we are just as guilty. So, if we are critical of them for that sin or weakness, then we must first judge our own hearts before God.

We can’t discipline or criticize them for sin, when we are doing the same thing – we are then a hypocrite.

What we do, they will do. What we have done, they will do, unless we repent to God and confess to man. When we make things right before God and man through repentance and confession, God will go on our behalf and work in the hearts of our children and fight this battle for us. But the condition of our own heart before God is first -the most important.

The PURITY of our hearts is first with God and second with our children; Asking God, “Judge my own heart first, before I judge my children’s.”

These are questions we should ask ourselves everyday when we see these sins in our children of any age:

Child Lying – Do I tell lies, fibs, white lies, excuses or unfaithful to my word?

Child Deceitful – Am I deceitful at work, home, finances, food, sexually, verbally, with friends, spouse or family?

Child Anger – How have I been angry? Do I have a problem with anger or shown them anger? Am I harsh? Am I angry towards my parents?

Child Critical of Siblings – Am I critical of them or others in heart and in speech?

Child A Tattle Tail – Am I tattling on my children or gossiping about other’s wrong doing?

Child Doing Alcohol/Drugs – Am I consuming substances that are not good for me? Do I partake in substance abuse? Do I have an addiction to food, work, anger, criticalness, sex, porn, soda, sugar, technology, shopping or negativity? Have I had any past usage?

Child Involved In Sexual Immorality – Have I been involved with sexual immorality at any time in my life or am currently? Am I a whore in the eyes of God? Do I have the sin of lust anywhere in my own life?

Rebellion – Have I been rebellious to God in actions and in heart? Have I been rebellious to my husband, my parents, leaders or authorities in my life?

Child With A Poor Attitude – Do I have a poor attitude to God, my spouse, my parents, others, leaders or those in authority?

Child Disrespectful – Is there any area in my life where I am disrespectful in word or action to my spouse, my children, my parents, family, friends, leaders, pastors, those in authority, myself, my body or to God?

Child Does Not listen – Do I listen to them? Do I drop all things and look at them eyeball to eyeball and listen with intent? Do I listen to others or my spouse undistracted? Do I ignore God and refuse to listen to Him? Am I too distracted to listen to God? Where are my ears shut?

Child Looking At Porn – Have I entertained pornography at anytime in my life? Do I still allow these images to play in my mind or do I hold them captive with the blood of Jesus? Have I repented to God for having eyes that are unholy?

Child Lazy/Procrastinator – Am I lazy or slothful? Do I have a problem with idleness or poor work ethic? Do I want something for nothing? Do I lie around?

Child Poor Eating Habits – Do I have poor eating habits? Do I choose foods that are unhealthy for me? Do I have any bad habits? Am I being critical? Am I gluttonous?

Witchcraft – Do I or have I entertained witchcraft in my life? Have I allowed it into my house through books, movies, pictures, drawings, games, video games or music? Have I named this sin and repented of this to God. Have I cleaned my house of witchcraft and filled it with the Word of God and the Holy Spirit?

Self Loathing/ Harmful To Themselves – Have I allowed movies, books, video games, music, and games into my home that entertains witchcraft, spells, divination, sexual immorality or violence? Have I entertained such things in my life?

Child Violent – Am I violent towards my children, my spouse or others? Do I watch or play violent games or moves? Am I violent or harsh or aggressive with my mouth or hands?

Child Sick - Have I allowed doctors to pour drugs into my child? Have I fed them junk? Have I taken nicotine, alcohol, street or medicinal drugs while pregnant or before? How many drugs am I taking and encourage my child to take?

Child Unloving – Do I hate my child? Do I hate my spouse? Do I love others? Have I abandoned my child with time, attention, needs, words or spending many hours each day apart?

Each one of our sins must be named and repented of and confessed to our children according to the right time and age.

DISCIPLINING OURSELVES BEFORE DISCIPLINING THE CHILDREN

In any method of discipline, if we parents do not have self-control regarding our anger, harshness, criticalness, aggression and impatience then we are just as guilty of sin as the child we are punishing. It is critical that we discipline ourselves BEFORE we discipline them. Otherwise we will grow an angry, discouraged child. Nothing cultivates anger in a child more than our anger.

We should not allow ourselves to discipline or even speak to them if we are angry even if the child is in need of discipline.

So our hearts must be disciplined by the Almighty God as well as theirs. And I say work, work, work on your heart. If we are teachable before God, then our children will be teachable before us and before God.

DISCIPLINING OUR CHILDREN

If WE don’t discipline our children when they are young, GOD will do it when they are older, and it will be very painful. And we the parents will be held accountable. If the children are left to themselves they will be disobedient.

We have a serious problem. The State allows doctors to kill our children through abortion and drug them until they have lost their minds or died, but parents can’t spank their children for discipline.

RISE UP oh people and put an end to this madness.

We have to answer to God for our children. Pray, fast, read the Bible and ask God, “How do YOU want me to discipline my children?” And the answer He gives, both spouses must be in agreement. If there is a disagreement, then pray, fast and speak the Word of God over your family until both of you are in agreement.

I am a huge supporter of spanking, but ONLY if done correctly. The Word of God instructs how we should conduct ourselves as parents and how we should correctly discipline our children. By not using the rod to discipline, we are not being obedient to God and neither will they.

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 29:15

The problem is we live in a society of child abuse. So to solve that problem, the rod of discipline is thrown out.

And God says, “You will reap what you sow, I will throw you out instead. And if you want dead children I’ll give you dead children.

THE ROD OF CORRECTION

Spanking should be done correctly with love, mercy and gentleness. It is holy ground. Time is the critical element. Time to set rules, time to calm down our own hearts, and time before and after spanking. It should NEVER be rushed or careless but administered with great purpose and care.

God has given parents the authority to discipline sin out of their child’s heart and there’s only one way to do it and that’s with the rod of correction. BUT, if we sin in the process, then we wound the child. We are a self-righteous hypocrite in more need of punishment than they.

So, with spanking, this is how it should be done in order to grow a meek, repentful and wise heart in the child. A wise heart is the objective for us and for them. So you see, if we don’t use the rod to impart wisdom when they are young, then God will use the rod to impart wisdom when they are older. And that’s a whole lot more painful then we could ever imagine.

If we do not spank correctly then he will use the rod on our backs. It is our choice.

1. The child should be given clear, calm, verbal boundaries/rules of behavior.

2. This is done by getting down to their level, eye ball to eye ball with them repeating the rule back to the parent.

3. With that rule, a warning is CALMLY and LOVINGLY given to the child that if they disobey then the parent has to spank.

If this warning is given in a threatening, angry, harsh or demeaning way, then the child will not respond, nor will the rule, warning or punishment be effective.

4. If the boundary or rule is broken, then calmly and lovingly tell them, “Because you disobeyed the rule”…repeat the rule/boundary again so they know what they are being punished for, “Now I must spank.”

5. Do not be angry, do not threaten them with harsh words such as, “Now you’re going to get it, or just wait in that room until I get there, or just wait till dad comes home, or how could you do that, I told you not too, now you’re going to get your butt whipped.” Parents stop that verbal abuse to that child. WE should be whipped if that crap comes out of our mouth.

6. We are inciting fear and anger in our children when we discipline in anger. And if we put this in our childrens’s hearts, then they will grow up to harm others and hate and disrespect us.

7. DON’T FORGET THIS – if we respect them when they are little, then they will respect us when they are older.

Way too many times we are careless with their little hearts and we wound them.

8. So, with spanking we cannot wound their bottoms AND their hearts….that is what we truly call abuse.

9. Calmly and gently take your child in your arms or by the hand and lovingly and slowly lead them to your bedroom which has been designated for spanking. Shut the door so this gives both quietness and privacy.

10. Do not drag your child to the room or make them wait in a room till you get there. This is cruelty. And do not make them wait until dad gets home. This is torture. Administer the discipline and do not make them wait

11. Sit down with them in your lap and snuggle with them and quietly talk about what they did. Remember we are mentoring their hearts so behavior will change.

12. Have them verbally repeat how they disobeyed.

13. Snuggle together until both of you are calm and quiet.

This is very important as it comes down both hearts.

14. Warn them, “I now have to spank, but know that I love you very much and this is why I spank. If you fight me, I will have to spank twice. So it is your choice.” Follow through with your words.

15. IF WE ARE STILL ANGRY, THEN WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THAT CHILD IN DISCIPLINE.

I can’t stress this enough.

16. They pull down their own britches to bare bottom and spank is calmly with love administrated by parent.

17. Afterwards, parent should then sit down in same chair and wait for the child to return to them.

18. If the child does not return to the parent sitting in the chair then it is a sign that the child has anger and unrepentfulness in their heart.

This is most likely due to parent disciplining in anger currently or in the past.

19. What we want to see is the child returning to the parent in the chair. The child coming back to the parent after being punished, is a sign of them having a meek, humble, sorrowful and repentful, heart toward you, God and their sin.

20. After they have returned, hold them in your lap again, snuggle and be merciful to their tears.

21. Remind them how much you love them. Then pray together for their heart and yours, that God would give you both wisdom.

22. Then leave the room together hand in hand, arm in arm.

Remember, disciplining with the rod is a holy time, a holy space with holy words.

Parents don’t forget this. The sole reason we discipline is for our children’s hearts to be changed, not their behavior.

When their hearts change, so will their behavior. Same with adults.

Our job as parents is to lovingly mentor their hearts in God’s wisdom, but first WE must be filled with God’s wisdom, we must be meek to our Teacher’s discipline and let God judge our own hearts as parents.

That’s why spanking when done wisely is such a powerful tool for removing sin out of the heart of our children. This is a big reason why we have such a disobedient society. Spanking has been done foolishly or not at all. WHAT?? And so sin abounds in the hearts of men. Since spanking has been done foolishly, then authorities say, “Ok, now no one can.” This does not solve the problem. Now we have kids disrespecting authority, failing to take responsibility for their actions, killing each other, rebelling with sin abounding in their hearts. Just ask police officers who deal with disobedient people everyday.

If parents don’t use the rod on their children or use it foolishly, then God will use His rod on the child when they are older and it will bring more pain then ever imagined.

So which do we want: Pain on the bottom or gut wrenching pain in the heart? Our choice.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.

Proverbs 23:13-14

He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently.

Proverbs 13:24

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

THE HEART OF THE CHILD

Grounding, time-out, taking toys or possessions away, sending them to their room will NEVER change the HEART of that child. It will temporarily change their behavior, but never their heart. So if we want their behavior to change, sin must be addressed in the heart. Sin is the root issue. And the only thing which gets the sin out of the heart is the rod and love. God’s wisdom and His righteousness changes us and them.

GIVING CHILDREN CHOICES

When parents make demands or commands, the child inevitably wants to rebel. Their will is challenged. However, when they are given choices such as, “You can have 1 hour at the mall or none at all” or “you can clean your room and have a friend over or clean the kitchen and then go for ice cream.” They then own their decisions and we are not put in a position of demanding or nagging.

They get to learn the consequences of their decision. The book Love and Logic is a great resource.

TIME IS A CHILDS FRIEND

Time turns selfish kids into sharing kids. Time changes tantrums into calmness, time helps kids leave when mom calls, and time helps parents finish their task to give full attention to their child.

When children are arguing or fighting over an object tell them, “Ok, Sara you get it for 10 minutes and when you are done, then Tim gets it for 10 minutes. Time is the referee and arguing ceases, because both kids win.

When shopping, prepare your child’s heart ahead time. Say gently, “We are not buying anything for you today in the store, but you can spend 10 minutes looking in the toy section or the isle of your choice.” A win for parent and a win for child.

When leaving children don’t like demands. Do you? They like preparedness. Say, “You have to come out of the pool at 2:00, so at 1:50 I will tell you when you have 10 minutes left.” Then give them a 5 minute warning and then one minute. If they do not come out or wine, then do not say anything, but begin to walk out the door. They will follow, because they do not want to be left behind.

Time helps their hearts prepare for leaving, it brings fairness to sharing and allows them the joy of doing something they enjoy. Rather than being yelled at or demanded. Treat them as you want to be treated. Do we like it when people demand us to leave when they call? We need time to finish what we are doing and prepare ourselves for leaving. Do we like it when we can’t have something we want? No, but an alternative soothes desires.

When a child needs our attention and we are busy, be respectful and look at them in the eye and say, “I know you need my attention, please be patient and give me 5 minutes to finish what I am doing.” Then follow through with your word. Win win for us and them.

TREAT CHILDREN WITH RESPECT

Treat children with kindness, gentleness, love, patience and slow to anger – this is respect. It all starts with parents. If we treat them with respect, then they will treat us with respect. Do to them as we wish to be treated. Do you want your arm yanked? Do you want to be yelled at? Do you want to be spoken to in anger or harshness? Do you want to be criticized? Do we want to be gossiped about?

What we sow as parents we will reap in our children.

TANTRUMS

A tantrum is a kid’s voice of need! What are they really trying to say? What is it that they really need?

Just yelling at them or disciplining them for the tantrum does not make the need go away. It is our job as parents to uncover the need and help meet it if possible.

When we discover their heart need, then we can prevent tantrums. Are they angry, angry at us or someone else, are they needing material things to make them happy, are they are not getting love or attention from us? Are their bodies hungry for healthy food or have they been fed junk and now they want more junk? Are they struggling with a spirit of complaining and need self-control and discipline? Listen to their voice!

To stop tantrums when out and about, prepare the child ahead of time so they know what the parent expects of them. Set disciplinary rules and boundaries, give them choices, time allowances and follow through with your words. However, the more we mentor and discipline the child’s heart at home, the easier it will be for them to behave when out of the house. Their behavior out in the world is a reflection of what is happening in the home. First take care of their heart and yours.

BASIC WISDOM FOR RAISING KIDS

Pay attention to them, give them plenty of quality AND quantity time. We blink and they are grown up. All they really want deep down in their hearts is us – to listen, care, support, not preach and not be critical.

Read a lot to them and read as a family.

Control screen time – 15 to 60 minutes a day depending on age.

Screen time should rarely be a babysitter.

Nurse them till THEY are done.

Meet their basic needs FIRST - love, gentleness, attention, sleep and food.

If they are naughty – first check what am I doing or what basic need has not been met?

Wrap them up or snuggle with them in a big soft blanket when they are cold, sad, sick or in need of comfort.

Stop conflicts by helping them own their part in the conflict.

Give them time limits or heads up.

Talk to them eye ball to eye ball.

Feed them real food, not fast food….cook food for them!

Find their love language.

THE GENERATIONS

We need to stop blaming and criticizing the generations after or before us and begin taking responsibility for the crap (SIN) in our own hearts.

The more wounded and traumatized we become from life, the more we will wound and traumatized those after us. And the more we judge our parents, the more God will judge us.

Who is going to step us and say no more? No more of this insanity!

I want to step up and own my wounds and trauma and the sin it has produced in my heart so that I will not pass this crap down to the next generation.

I can do this by the Name and Blood of Jesus Christ. For I can do all things through Jesus, our LORD and Savior and His righteousness.

God said if we worship, obey and serve Him, He will bless a thousand generations after us, but if we refuse, then He will curse a thousand generations after us. Our choice!

May we be the ones who bring a blessing to the generations after after us.

TEENS

We need to establish in our homes, “no more anger” from us and them. Teens need gentleness, good food, a listening ear, sleep, acceptance, no more criticalness, and parent transparency. How we treat them should be how we want to be treated. Isn’t that biblical? Treat others how you would want to be treated. Why do we think that truth does not apply when dealing with our children?

Grounding is USELESS, it never changes the heart of teens. It only temporarily changes their behavior. God is the ultimate parent. Ask Him how to parent teens. He cares about their hearts MORE than we do. He will teach us wisdom, insight and understanding regarding discipline, but we MUST do it His way and from a pure heart. So cry out for His wisdom.

BULLYING

The root cause of bullying is anger. That is our responsibility as parents to find out why our child is angry. The first question should be asked before God, “What am I doing to make my child angry?” Is there a lack of attention, love or security? Is there abandonment, physical abuse, verbal abuse, chaos, divorce or fighting in the home?

The actions of that child are a reflection of their heart. And children are a reflection of our own hearts as parents. Ask God for wisdom.

DIVORCE

Sorry to be so harsh, but we are STUPID if we believe our children will get over divorce. Like many others, my parents divorced and me and my siblings NEVER got over it until God stepped in and gave us recovery. It is a wound that stays with the child for life, UNLESS God heals the wounds inflicted. Children are not resilient. That is a lie from the pit of hell; a lie to justify our sinful behavior as parents.

FEAR

Children create a lot of fear in parents. We encounter fear every day. What do we do with it and how do we overcome fear? We overcome the spirit of fear by speaking and believing the Word of God over them and the situation. Tell the devil, this is what is written…

The demon of fear will flee and the Word going forth from our mouth will be the same as prophesying over them. Don’t lay down in fear and let the enemy come in and take whatever he wants. Battle with the Sword – the Word of God. We will be victorious. Besides, who will battle for them on their behalf if it is not us?

STAY AT HOME MOMS

Motherhood is THE most important job we will ever have as women. And staying home with them is vital. That is why I highly recommend homeschooling. With the mother being home, the children develop healthy bonds with the parents and their siblings. Behavior is disciplined and character is trained. This sets the stage for a healthy relationship with the parents and siblings as they get older.

If money is the issue, ask God for wisdom. He gave you these kids and it is His job to provide. He can financially open the door in creative ways so we moms can stay home. If we have to live in a shack with the bare minimum, then do so. Our wants and desires must take a back seat to the raising of our children. We have them for just a short time. But if that time is not held sacred and the responsibility transferred to others, then we will reap what we have sowed. Remember, God WILL provide for mothers to stay home.

Now if we are in a situation unable to stay home, then don’t give up. Keep crying out to the LORD for His Wisdom. What seems impossible, becomes possible. Proverbs 31.

And to all feminists who are angered by this truth…mellow out. You WILL reap what you have sowed.

I know I did.

When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God. Nehemiah 6:16

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